


Leave the Past Behind

by Anonymous



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types
Genre: Anxiety, Bullying, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Multi, Polyamorous Character, Polyamory, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-20
Updated: 2018-05-20
Packaged: 2019-05-09 10:56:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14714732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Lusamine is struggling to get her life back together again after the events of ultra space, she feels like she had no one to turn to but her friends are closer than she realises, meanwhile Wicke struggles to cope with Faba's bullying and Guzma is learning how to be a better person.





	Leave the Past Behind

**Author's Note:**

> This story takes place after the events of ultra space and Lusamine's return to Alola, from Kanto in Sun/Moon, please keep this in mind when reading. An FYI the symbols around the quotes symbolise a dream sequence.

_。 ゚・ₒ°✧_ _I finally felt what fear felt like, it was terrifying!_ _✧°ₒ・゚ 。_

_∷…∷∷∷_

_。 ゚・ₒ°✧_ _She's too far gone... she's on another level!_ _✧°ₒ・゚ 。_

_∷∷…∷∷_

_。 ゚・ₒ°✧_ _I'm sick of you, you are terrible and selfish!_ _✧°ₒ・゚ 。_

_∷∷…∷∷_

_。 ゚・ₒ°✧_ _You don't care about anyone but yourself!_ _✧°ₒ・゚ 。_

_∷∷∷…∷_

_。 ゚・ₒ°✧_ _You're too ugly to be worthy of my love._ _✧°ₒ・゚ 。_

 

These thoughts... these memories that had circled around her mind, continued to haunt her with each passing minute that she tried to pull her life back together again. A broken mirror could be put back together but the cracks always remained visible. No matter how hard she tried to make things right, no matter how much she tried to forget about the past and the horrific mistakes she made, Lusamine was cursed! Her past would continue to haunt her, every time she blinked, in that single millisecond of darkness, all she could see was the look of fear and disappointment on her daughter's face. Her obsession started when she lost her husband and with each passing day, she felt more and more like she deserved to lose him.

" _He'd have been happier without me_ ," Lusamine chanted to herself as the visions of her past haunted her mind. " _without me, he might still be alive..._ " Whilst the disturbing imagery of her aggressive attempts at harming her own family flooded her hallucinogenic vision, the phone that was previously in her hand went tumbling down to the hard tiled floor with a smash as her body went limp. The thought of looking her daughter in the eye after that, the thought of facing her colleagues, her friends...  _were they even still her friends_? Surely they had all lost respect for her? She certainly had! It made her nauseous.

Three sharp knocks on the door to her office broke her out of her trance-like state, Lusamine raised her head looking up at the door, it felt heavy, like a ton of bricks were resting on her shoulders. Suddenly, she forgot how to speak. Her best friend and assistant branch chief employee, Wicke, opened her door a crack, peeking her head through the small opening.

"Lusamine? Guzma is here to see you." Her soft voice soothed the aether presidents ears as she returned to a normal state of mind, shaking her head sharply to fully snap out of it.

"T-Thank you, Wicke. Please, send him in." Lusamine replied calmly, clasping her hands on the desk in a professional manner. This was it, the conversation she had dreaded since her return to Alola, her apology to Guzma, the only one who stayed loyal to her through everything, although, she never quite understood why. Wicke fully opened the door to let Guzma through then closed it behind her, not before showing concern in her expression towards her friend. Despite everything that happened, Wicke was the only one who truly never judged Lusamine for anything that she did, she was there for Lusamine's worst moments. She was there to wipe the tears away when her husband went missing for good, she was there to help Lusamine raise her kids whilst maintaining her business. She could see how much she was suffering, therefore her breakdown wasn't a huge surprise to Wicke. She knew that all she could do to help was to continue supporting her no matter what, Wicke was a kind soul, too kind for her own good as Lusamine once put it. The aether paradise had felt like less of a paradise and more of a typical awkward workplace since Lusamine's breakdown, acting like nothing happened was hard for all the employees, one in particular who reckoned that Lusamine wasn't  _'fit enough'_  to be the president and resented the majority of the workers in the establishment, he made it especially hard to forget about the past as he often brought it up out of pure badness and jealousy. Lusamine didn't notice this however, as she was too busy trying to make amends, to pay any attention and this is where she felt she needed to start.

"Look... I know that nothing I say can justify my past actions, I'm aware I messed up, I messed up bad! I wish to god I hadn't but I did. If I could go back I would but I can't. All I can tell you is, I'm a different person now, whether you chose to believe that or not is your call but I want you to know that I'm truly grateful that you stood by me even when you knew i was beyond help, I didn't deserve that kind of loyalty especially when I practically threw it back in your face, and for that I apologize. I should never have dragged you into my mess, I'm so sorry Guzma." Lusamine's voice became shaky, as did her hands prompting her to hide them behind the desk. Guzma wasn't entirely sure how to respond to this, he wasn't sure what he was expecting but it certainly wasn't this. His hands fidgeted in his pockets whilst he took her words in. To him, Lusamine was the only person who ever believed in his strength, something his own parents doubted in him. He felt like he owed Lusamine his loyalty, all he ever wanted was someone who saw him as much more that what his reputation suggested. She was his role model, he aspired to have her courage, her dedication to meeting her ambitions, just to be like her in every way and now here she was begging for his forgiveness, how was he meant to feel about this?

"S'alright ma'am." Although the experience was not a good one, it helped Guzma to understand more about himself. "I mean, I should be thankin' ya, I disbanded Team Skull and moved on with my life, if anything this experience has made me a better person." This took Lusamine by surprise.

"Thanking me? You're kidding right? After all I put you through?" Lusamine asked, almost hysterically.

"Well, yeah? I mean, I weren't nothin' before you came along, you helped me understand what exactly I'm suppose to be and for that I can't be mad, can I?" Guzma shrugged, seeming careless.

"Y-You really think I helped you?" She replied in a whisper

"Yeah!" Guzma replied instantly. He couldn't bring it upon himself to be angry at her, as far as he was considered, from what he heard and seen, she'd suffered enough. "Best for us all just to try to get back to focusing on our own lives rather than dwelling in the past, eh?" Lusamine's jaw quivered, she couldn't quite compute why he wouldn't be mad at her like everyone else was. Guzma stared into her eyes, he saw a beauty in her that he'd never seen before, it was like she was a changed woman, he could feel the genuineness emanating from her. For a moment he was lost in her gaze.

"Oh, I ugh, I guess so?" Lusamine stuttered, breaking the eye contact. Usually she was strong, strong enough not to break down in tears but everyday it got a little harder and to hear this now, that she may have helped someone to become a better person, it wasn't sitting well with her suppressed emotions. Lusamine quickly glanced down at the ground so her hair was now covering her face. "Thank you for being so understanding, i don't deserve it."

"You do, more than you know." Guzma finished, earning a last glance from her apologetic glistening eyes before he turned to leave. He closed the door behind him then rested up against it taking a deep breath. He felt something there that he'd never felt before, towards anyone, he just didn't quite know what it was.

Back in the conservation area, Wicke was leaning over the barriers watching peacefully as the Pokémon played in the water, there was something therapeutic about watching Pokémon being carefree and happy, that was the life Wicke always dreamed of. In her daydream she didn't notice her nasty colleague, Faba, approach her from behind.

"Slacking off again?" The sound of his voice cut through her eardrums like glass, her stomach churned every time he was near her. Faba was always picking on her, every little thing about her from her appearance and her personality to her skills and place in aether. Lusamine was never around to see the awful way he treated her, no one ever was. He was sneaky that way, always waiting on an opportunity to get her alone and treat her like dirt. Wicke never told anyone about this for two reasons, the first being that she liked to keep the peace and the second being that she was too afraid of what Faba would do, he was unpredictable and sadistic so she wouldn't put it past him to do something evil to get revenge on her. "I thought I told you to go tidy up my office!" Faba exclaimed.

"I'm your subordinate, Faba, I'm not your slave." Wicke somewhat stood up for herself, this was brave for her, she was usually so timid and would just do whatever he demanded to keep him happy, even if it made her miserable.

"What have I told you about addressing me properly?!" He snapped at her. "And look at me when you're talking to me." Wicke sighed and turned to face him, he got close to her face and spoke through bared teeth, "You really need to learn your place, I don't appreciate your attitude." Wicke tried to back away but the barrier behind her was pressed hard against her back meaning she had no means of escape, the only way she could get herself out of this situation was to submit to his taunting.

"My apologies, it won't happen again." She replied sincerely.

"You're right it won't, if you think for one minute I won't make your life hell than you're wrong!" Faba spat. _More than you already do?_  Wicke thought to herself but didn't dare say it out loud. "Now," Faba shoved her aside, causing her to trip over her own feet almost tumbling to the ground. "get to work!" he snarled, turning his back on her and strutting off towards the elevator. Wicke regained her balance and sighed heavily, being here felt less like a family and more like a prison when Faba was around, she really didn't understand why he picked on her so much, she was only ever nice to him but she realised that didn't matter to him, so long as she was easy to push around, which she knew she was, he would continue to do so and now that Lusamine was around less it was easier for him to target her. There was nothing she could do, she'd just grin and bear it.

Guzma was passing the elevator as Faba got off, not looking where he was going, Faba bumped into the much larger Guzma, who drew him a scowl.

"Hey watch where yer going!" Guzma seethed. Faba was one person Guzma just could not stand, his cocky attitude was repulsive to Guzma as he was nothing but a scrawny incel who thought he was the 'top dog' of Aether. Faba didn't even think about snapping back, he was the kind of guy who would push around weak and timid women as a way to feel powerful because he was too weak and spineless to take on another man. He simply stepped aside and let Guzma pass by him, without a word. Guzma stepped outside and let out a deep sigh, he knew that Lusamine was hurting and there was nothing he could do to stop it, he could feel waves of affection towards her that he'd never felt before and couldn't quite understand. Guzma had never felt emotionally attached to any woman before, he was always more of a ' _do em and ditch em_ ' kind of guy, well he used to be anyway, as for Plumeria, she was more like a sister to him than anything else. He pulled a packet of cigarettes out of his pocket and lit one up, pushing himself up on to the wall to sit whilst he smoked.

"Ya gotta stop feeling like this Guz, pull yourself together!" He pep talked himself, swiftly smacking his palm against his head a few times. He closed his eyes after taking a large inhale of smoke, trying to clear his mind but there was only one thing on his mind and that was Lusamine. He exhaled sharply letting out the puff of smoke. "Why are you on my mind so much?" Guzma inaudibly murmured to himself. He tried to fill his mind with something else, anything else, like what he'd eat later or where he would go tonight. He just wanted Lusamine off his mind. He was eventually snapped out of it when he heard a scraping noise next to him. He turned to see Wicke, kneeling down to pick up a bag of old ripped up research papers that she had accidentally dropped and scattered everywhere, he could see that she looked distressed and upset so he jumped down from the wall and flicked his now burned out cigarette into the nearby trash then knelt down to help her. "Here, lemme give ye a hand with that."

"Oh!" Wicke jumped a little, having not noticed him. "T-thanks but you don't have to do that, it just m-me being a clumsy idiot again." she stammered, hurriedly scooping all the paper shreds back into the trash bag. Guzma tossed all the bits he could find into the trash bag too.

"Hey chill, it's no sweat. What's the big rush, you seem to be in a bit of a state there." Guzma questioned as she pushed herself on to her feet and lifted the bag up.

"I, uh, have a lot to do and if i don't do it quickly-" she stopped herself from revealing anymore, she wasn't fond of the idea of telling Guzma that Faba was bossing her around. "uh..." she pushed her glasses on tighter as they had slid down her face a little.

"Yeah?" Guzma stood up and crossed his arms.

"It doesn't matter." Wicke shook her head then placed the bag into the trash can outside.

"Clearly it is otherwise you wouldn't be looking so worried!" Guzma retorted, tilting his head. "Don't tell me that skinny weirdo is making you do his dirty work for him?"

"I-" Wicke was good at many things but lying, unfortunately wasn't one of them. "I'm just doing some cleaning for him is all, he told me to do it earlier and i never got around to it so i'm just catching up." On the one hand she wasn't keen on telling him that she was being ordered around but on the other hand it felt somewhat of a relief to finally tell  _someone_  about it.

"He  _TOLD_  you?" Guzma scoffed. "Correct me if i'm wrong but the last time I checked, Lusamine is your boss, not him!"

"Well yes and no, he's technically my superior so as long as Lusamine is busy then yes, he is my boss." Wicke tucked some of her loose violet hair behind her ear, shyly.

"Lusamine would never make you do anything like this or treat ya like some kind of lackey," Guzma raised an eyebrow at her. "so what makes it okay for him to do it?" Wicke opened her mouth but nothing came out, she had no way of defining his actions, up until now she'd only learned to live with it rather than accept it. "Hmph, I rest my case, ya know if you ever want him dealt with," Guzma turned around, his back now facing her. "come find me. I'll be more than happy to take out the trash." Guzma slowly walked off, leaving Wicke in silence. She knew he was right but it was against her nature to provoke harm or violence on anyone, regardless of how badly they treated her. She knew that Faba took her kindness as a weakness and used it against her in any way he could just to feel superior, she was fully aware he was a scumbag but she wasn't brave enough to do anything about it as she had tried in the past and it only led to her being abused in some form or another by him. Wicke let out an exhausted sigh before heading back to Faba's office to finish doing his dirty work, the sooner her shift ended the better.

Lusamine picked her phone up off the ground, the screen was shattered, a good reflection of her feelings at the moment. She sat it down on the desk and rubbed her temples, still trying to get her head around Guzma's response to her apology.  _How could he forgive her so easily? Had she really made a change in his life? Had she actually made him into a better person? Was he just lying to avoid conflict?_  These questions circled her mind several times, she felt a wave of anxiety crash over her head and drag her deeper down the road of depression. "I need to get out of here." She said quietly to herself. "I need to face my workers." She got up and headed for the door of her office, freezing right as her hand touched the cold crystal door handle. She could hear the voices of her anxiety in the back of her mind.  _They're all going to laugh at you, they have no respect for you!_  It was hard for her to push these thoughts out her head. Lusamine hadn't had a proper conversation with anyone since her return, those months she spent in Kanto over thinking and hating herself had only made matters worse. Lusamine forced herself to pull the handle, exiting her office. She decided to head to the conservation area and treat herself to a little visual therapy to clear her mind before she even thought about trying to converse with anyone.

On her way there, however, she did receive some questionable glances from her workers, she couldn't help but feel like she was an outcast in her own establishment. As she stepped off the elevator, a breath of fresh air filled her lungs, the conservation area was filled with plant life as well as Pokémon, her workers had done a great job of keeping Aether clean and fresh whilst she was gone. The only people in the conservation area at this point were a few workers whose jobs it was to feed and groom the Pokémon but aside from them the area was empty and quiet, this wasn't a huge surprise as it was nearing the afternoon and the end of most of the workers shifts. Lusamine watched carefully as a Lycanroc that had been rescued by her team after being badly injured, groomed and fed it's young, all this could remind her of was how she mistreated her own. Lillie had somewhat forgiven her for her actions, it was thanks to her young daughter that she was alive and well again but Lusamine felt she had dont very little to show her appreciation to Lillie for her courageous actions. Gladion was a different story, her teenage son was already closed up and rejectful of her affections before this had even occurred so however hard it was to regain Lillie's affections it would be ten times harder to do the same for Gladion, especially as he had avoided her since she left for Kanto. Lusamine let out a stressed sigh and stared up to the ceiling. "Where do I even begin?"


End file.
